GREAT article… ENJOY

TF

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LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM DANCING GUY
By Derek Sivers – http://www.sivers.org
© 2010 All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission.

Last month I gave a 3-minute talk at the TED Conference called “How to Make
a Movement – Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy.” I expected nothing, but
it got a standing ovation. Peter Gabriel came up to me afterwards and said
it was “funny, profound, and important.”

It was twittered and blogged about by Tony Robbins, Jason Fried, Loic Le
Meur, Bill Gross, and over 1000 other people.

Transcript:

If you’ve learned a lot about leadership and making a movement, then let’s
watch a movement happen, start to finish, in under 3 minutes, and dissect
some lessons:

A leader needs the guts to stand alone and look ridiculous. But what he’s
doing is so simple, it’s almost instructional. This is key. You must be easy
to follow!

Now comes the first follower with a crucial role: he publicly shows everyone
how to follow. Notice the leader embraces him as an equal, so it’s not about
the leader anymore – it’s about them, plural. Notice he’s calling to his
friends to join in. It takes guts to be a first follower! You stand out and
brave ridicule, yourself. Being a first follower is an under-appreciated
form of leadership. The first follower transforms a lone nut into a leader.
If the leader is the flint, the first follower is the spark that makes the
fire.

The 2nd follower is a turning point: it’s proof the first has done well. Now
it’s not a lone nut, and it’s not two nuts. Three is a crowd and a crowd is
news. A movement must be public. Make sure outsiders see more than just the
leader. Everyone needs to see the followers, because new followers emulate
followers – not the leader.

Now here come 2 more, then 3 more. Now we’ve got momentum. This is the
tipping point! Now we’ve got a movement!

As more people jump in, it’s no longer risky. If they were on the fence
before, there’s no reason not to join now. They won’t be ridiculed, they
won’t stand out, and they will be part of the in-crowd, if they hurry. Over
the next minute you’ll see the rest who prefer to be part of the crowd,
because eventually they’d be ridiculed for not joining.

And ladies and gentlemen that is how a movement is made! Let’s recap what we
learned:

If you are a version of the shirtless dancing guy, all alone, remember the
importance of nurturing your first few followers as equals, making
everything clearly about the movement, not you. Be public. Be easy to
follow! But the biggest lesson here – did you catch it? Leadership is
over-glorified.

Yes it started with the shirtless guy, and he’ll get all the credit, but you
saw what really happened:

It was the first follower that transformed a lone nut into a leader. There
is no movement without the first follower. We’re told we all need to be
leaders, but that would be really ineffective. The best way to make a
movement, if you really care, is to courageously follow and show others how
to follow. When you find a lone nut doing something great, have the guts to
be the first person to stand up and join in.

Derek Sivers was the founder and president of the extremely popular online
music store, CD Baby. Derek is now developing new projects to help
independent artists to succeed. For his free e-book on how to be more
successful promoting your music, visit http://www.sivers.org

Some people – you IMMEDIATELY know – are a waste of time.

Some others – you IMMEDIATELY know – are dangerous to give your money to.

And others – you just KNOW – are giving you terrible advice.

….these people are OBVIOUS hazards, and – if you’re reading my Blog – I’m sure you wouldn’t let them into your life… not even for a second. These people are the obvious red-zone characters, sheisters, shamers, complainers, and blamers. Ugh. My skin crawls just thinking about them.

So that’s clear.

The problem, though, is that the obvious Damage-Case types I’ve described above represent *maybe* 1% of people out there. People these days are more and more clouded in “gray” – the clean-cut “good” or “bad” seems harder and harder to distinguish.

And frankly, someone telling the truth – their truth – just isn’t enough!

What about the kind, warm, smiling salesperson that you actually, sincerely believe? What about your friend that is genuinely looking out for you? What about YOUR MOTHER who wants the best for you?

These people are FAR from the evil soul or time sucking leech that I’ve described above. So how could it be that I might want to steer clear from their advice and ideas?

In all three of these examples, the advice, direction, opinion could be the absolute TRUTH for each of these three people, yet their message could be something that you should avoid at ALL COSTS.

Remember – just because someone is a qualified and trusted adviser in one area doesn’t make them universally omniscient or competent in all areas. This is known as “Domain Specificity”. My Dad is incredibly qualified and experienced to give parenting advice to me. Just don’t ask him about what it’s like to give birth…. see what I mean?

Truth be told, most people ARE great people. And most people DO care. Most people are, in fact, looking out for your best interests!

Most people ARE being honest with you, based on what’s true for THEM. You could ask these questions…

• Do I like this person?
• Do I trust this person?
• Is this person smart?
• Does this person have a bunch of credentials?
• Does this person have real-world experience?

…the answer could be YES to EVERYTHING, yet you would still get into huge trouble if you listened to them.

So how to distinguish who to listen to and what to do?

In my opinion, the golden question is this:

“Do I like the DIRECTION this person is going?”

A person could be a school teacher, have 20 years experience, have Bachelor’s AND Masters’ degrees in Education, have won national “Teacher of the Year” awards, and be making $80,000 / year in the process, working 55 hours/week. And they could be the kindest, most highly-respected person in your life.

But unless I like their direction, and want what they have in the area (domain) I have questions about, there is no reason to follow their tutelage.

A real-life example from my life…

My good friend Stacy and I are great friends from University. She and I have had an absolute blast at different parties, and we’ve leaned on each other when things were tough during exams and when each of us has had relationship “challenges”.

We don’t see each other much any more – she is in Europe and I’m in Canada – but every time we speak on Skype it’s like we’ve never missed a day. We pick up right where we left off and are laughing BIG TIME within the first 30 seconds EVERY TIME.

Does this person sound like an evil person? Or some kind of sly, scheming thief? NOT AT ALL.

And nor is she. In fact, as far as friendship is concerned, she is fabulous, and I hope we stay friends for a long time because of it.

YET… everytime we get talking about finances, ambitions, dreams, hobbies, etc., I hear about how she’s loving The Hills and other high-quality TV. She is talking about being a “big dreamer”… 2 weeks later she tells me that she’s buying a brand-new car (that she can’t afford) because she’s “like me”, someone who refuses “to wait for life to happen”.

WHAT?!? Are you joking?

Yes I have a large vision, and am proactive in my life, but debt-financing a depreciating “Doodad” is hardly my way of making life happen.

In the Domain of relationships and FUN, Stacy is awesome to talk to. In the Domain of finances, wealth-building, and hobbies, is want to STEER CLEAR of what she is going for.

Another example…

I show up at a friends’ house recently, and they are just wrapping up their meeting with a financial planner. This financial planner is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She is super warm and incredibly knowledgeable about insurance and mutual funds.

This woman can name the annualized returns of many different funds, has the classic Andex chart to show the historical upward trend of the market, and shows me dozens upon dozens of newspaper clippings from major newspapers – the Edmonton Journal, the National Post, to name a few – all trumpeting the strength and merits of a well-diversified portfolio of Mutual Funds.

She then explains to me the magic of compound interest, and dollar-cost averaging. Lastly she shows me a copy of The Wealthy Barber, and I’m nearly sold.

Fabulous person, incredibly professional. And I can just feel that she believes in her product / service, that she genuinely KNOWS that she is helping hundreds of family achieve financial security in their old age. She is committed to making sure that the Golden years truly ARE Golden.

Does this sound like the sneering, conniving, EVIL thief that I described at the start of this article?

HARDLY.

In the area of personal finance, Do I like the DIRECTION that this person is going?

Absolutely not.

In closing, be AWARE. Of the direction people are going. They can talk a great game, but ultimately their ACTION that tells the story.

And be AWARE that because a person is a great example in one area of life, it doesn’t mean they are great in all areas.

The questions of:

• Is this person a waste of time?
• Is this person a sheister?
• Is this person giving good advice?
• Should I give this person my money?
• Should I follow this person’s advice?
• Should I be following this person’s example?

….can all be answered by simply asking:

In the area / Domain I’m thinking about, do I like this person’s DIRECTION?

Onwards and Upawrds,

TF

Thanks to Kyle McNeil for the great conversation that inspired me to write this article.

Life is often a sum of knowledge or expertise and Ability.

In business, you need to bring something of value to the table.  This can be money, networks, knowledge, a product, etc.  I would qualify any expertise or Ability as a “Trade”.

I can be an expert tradesperson whether I am a welder, a musician, a hairdresser, a salesperson, a Manager, a Landlord, etc…. these are all different areas of expertise that I can trade for money or other value.

And the more expertise and Ability that I provide, the more highly I am rewarded.

Henry Ford was *renowned* for saying (essentially) “I want to be the dumbest guy on the team.  Not because I’m dumb, but because I have amazing people around me.”  Just because he had an expert lawyer, accountant, engineer, etc, at his disposal, does that mean that he didn’t have any kind of Ability?

Not at all… in fact, he was an expert at putting together a great TEAM.  So even the “dumbest guy on the team” still must have an Ability.

So what’s your Ability?  Expertise?  Trade?  Whatever name you give it, it’s the same effect…. bringing value to the table and trading for value.

The good news is that you can always gain Ability yourself, and also through leveraging the abilities and resources of others.  Cooperating with others – for mutual benefit – this is the process of Joint Ventures.

Seeing as the ability to find and establish Joint Ventures is a skill on it’s own, there’s value in having expertise in that area too.  And the more expertise in Joint Ventures, the more that you can simply borrow and strategically align yourself to acquire all other forms of expertise and Value.

TF

Who you are NOW does not determine who you WILL be

Your autobiography is not your destiny

- Dr. David Wolf, PhD, of the Satvatove Institute

Thank-you to Kyle McNeil for forwarding the following story to me. Amazing story, amazing lesson..

THE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER

By Kindra Hall – http://www.kindrahalltellsall.com
© 2009 KindraHallTellsAll. All Rights Reserved. Used By Permission.

The other day I was in the Phoenix Airport on my way to a meeting in Denver.
Unsure of how long it would take to get the car parked, get the luggage
checked, get through the security line, and get to our gate, we (my husband
Michael and I) ended up at the airport early. Once we parked our belongings
at the gate, I did what I always do when I’m early to the airport; I headed
toward the News Stand for the sole purpose of staring at the tabloid
magazine covers. Yes, I know, it’s a nasty habit, but before you cast your
stones, I should tell you I only allow myself to read the COVERS of the
magazines. JUST the covers. And even in those few moments I can feel my
brain cells rotting and my dislike for humanity mounting.

However, on this particular trip to the News Stand I witnessed something
much more fascinating, and disturbing, than any tabloid could offer.

In this particular News Stand there was a friendly looking gentleman. He had
a pleasant face th at was graced with a cheerful smile. He and I were
hovering in the same area; I was looking at the magazines, he was looking at
the Snickers bars. Though, “looking” wouldn’t be the right word –
“agonizing over” would be a better way of putting it. You see, this
friendly-seeming man was about 200 pounds from healthy. As we stood silently
by each other, I could hear him as he struggled to breathe, and watch him
shift uncomfortably from foot to foot as he worked his way down the candy
display.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he picked up a regular sized
Snickers with his right hand and a KING sized Snickers with his left. He
looked at his two options, back and forth, back and forth. He rolled them
around in his hands, crinkled their wrappers, contemplating his decision.
After at least a minute, he reached to put the regular sized one back … a
shame, I thought. He was so close.

But then, like a flash of lightening from above, at the very last moment ,
he THREW the KING sized Snickers back. It landed atop the gum with a
deafening THUD. The man turned and looked at me with regular Snickers in his
hand. Gripped it tightly, shrugged, and smiled.

For a moment, I saw a glimpse of pride on his face; the kind of pride that
comes from taking control of your life. Granted, it wasn’t the BEST
decision, but it WAS a step in the right direction and it was clear he was
pleased with himself. I smiled back and nodded; a silent congratulations for
a job well done.

He took his regular sized Snickers strutted to the register where a 50ish
woman waited. She was friendly in an abrasive sort of way, and as I moved to
look at the cover of Men’s Health I heard her say to the man (who was still
in the glow of his recent victory):

“Sure you don’t want the KING sized Snickers? Looks awful good…”

The man who had just made a good decision, froze. He stared at the woman
behind the counter. In that moment, it was as if t he Phoenix Airport
stopped…. As he stared at the abrasive woman behind the counter, I stared
at him. The woman reached for the KING sized and waved it in front of his
face. “Don’t do it. Don’t do it,” I willed him. But in the next moment, he
nodded, took the KING sized Snickers, paid, and slowly walked away.

I wanted to say something, but it wasn’t my place. As he walked past, he
didn’t look my way, instead he looked to the ground and to the KING sized
decision he held in his hand.

Now, it would be easy to blame the woman behind the counter for the demise
of our Snicker loving friend. She didn’t HAVE to offer him the KING size
when he seemed to be perfectly content. However, it is not her fault; she
was only doing her job (I swear they get paid on commission — every time I
try to buy a magazi… I mean, a pack of gum… they always ask if I would
like water or a snack. It can’t JUST be because they’re really concerned for
my hydration or hunger). No, the responsibility lies solely in the man who
ultimately made the choice.

We relate to this man. Whether you struggle with your weight, or you
struggle to make good financial decisions. Maybe you make poor decisions, of
any size, in your personal relationships. Whatever your vice may be (and
there may be many), we have all been here before; on the brink of a
breakthrough, only to fall short with no one to blame but ourselves. Whether
you’ve been there once or been there 100 times, there is an important lesson
to learn here; one that may not be the most obvious.

Who you are now does not determine who you will be.

I’ll say it again. Who you are now does not determine who you will be.

Sounds nice, right? Easy lesson, nice lesson, hopeful lesson. The catch is
this: you have to MAKE it so. The difference between who you are NOW and who
you will BE happens because of choice. It doesn’t have to be a heroic
choice, it can be small/consistent choices made everyday in the right
direction, that make the difference. But they MUST be made and can only be
made by you.

How do you do this?

First: start seeing yourself NOW as the person you will BE. If you’re broke,
start seeing yourself as un-broke. If you’re alone, see yourself wrapped in
the warmth of a healthy relationship. If you’re heavier than you would like
to be, see yourself thin.

Second: It is not enough to just SEE yourself there, you must start behaving
in a way that mirrors the behaviors of the kind of person you will become.
Un-broke people make sound decisions when it comes to finances — do that
now. Healthy people find joy in salads and low-fat dressing — you should
too.

Third: Stay focused. There is a good chance that others will continue to see
you as you are now, and that’s ok. It’s not their fault. They may not be
aware that you have made a decision to change; not aware that you are making
small consistent decisions toward the person you wa nt to become. They may
not SEE those small decisions or REALIZE what they are adding up to. Stay
focused on YOU. On YOUR vision for yourself. And don’t be afraid to
verbalize your desires to those around you so they can aid in your
transformation.

This is where I believe our friend at the candy counter went astray:

Perhaps he was seeing himself not as who he IS, but who he could BE — well,
healthy, happy…

I KNOW he was making a small decision in the right direction…

But when he got to the counter, the abrasive woman saw him as he WAS: a man
who “must” love KING sizes. And instead of staying focused, instead of
standing as a warrior for his future-self, he crumbled with the words “I
will always be this” ringing in his defeated ears.

We all relate to this story. We have all been there. I just urge you to not
go there again. Fight for you future self, and beware the woman behind the
counter.

When all was said and done, I walked out of the News Stand empty-handed and
heavy hearted. I took my seat at Gate C27 and waited for our plane to
arrive.

(Post Note: Michael ended up sitting next to this man on the plane. When I
told Michael this story, looong after the flight, he said, “That makes it
worse … he was such a nice guy.”)

Kindra Hall is a storyteller with 18 years of experience. She shares her
stories on stage, in coaching sessions, and on her blog:
http://www.kindrahalltellsall.com. She works with organizations and
individuals to discover, craft, and deliver their stories in order to more
effectively communicate their mission and values. She has performed on the
stage of the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, TN at the
Exchange Place.

Ever had the experience of bringing groceries home… because you don’t want to make three trips from your car to the door of your house, you load up all 10 bags in your two hands. It’s mostly working… you are struggling along, yet you are moving forward, no problem.

But then you get to your door, and that’s when the real problems start arising. You try to reach up for the door with the groceries still in your hands. You can get your hand UP near the door handle, but there’s so many bags in the way that you just can’t quite reach the door knob. FRUSTRATING!

The more you struggle and strain to open the door the more tired you get from holding all those bags. Occasionally your hand – as you are repeatedly trying to reach up – brushes up against the door handle. SO CLOSE! Yet the bags remain in your hands and in the way… and the door remains shut.

What would happen if you could just put down some of the baggage of life? Would that free up your hand(s) to reach up, turn the knob, and walk through the door of opportunity?

TF

Ever been skiing before?

Skiing can be fun!  It can also be a fast, PAINFUL teacher.

FOCUS

2 Skis, pointed outwards = the Face-Plant

Ever had two skiis pointed outwards in different directions?  If you have, you know your trip won’t last long.

At best you end up htting the snow FACE FIRST within one foot of your departure.  At worst, you end up with extensive groin tears, with surgeries on at least one MCL to heal your torn-up knee(s).  UGLY.

This is the same result as the person who is focused on too many different things.  At the outset – the start of their ski run – they’ve got one ski pointed left, and the other pointed right.  They’re doing stock trading while they’re also starting 2 MLMs and buying their first property.

BAM!  Facewash full of snow.  At best: embarrassed.  At worst, bankrupt, broken-spirited, and left forever as a spectator.

The best quote I’ve heard related to this concept:

The fox who chases many hares catches none at all.

Two questions:

1) What could you let go of in your life?  Maybe it’s a relationship, a project, a habit.  Maybe it’s a belief holding you back.

2) With your newly created time, energy, focus, and beliefs what would it do for you if you could spend more time on your #1 project?  Even a modest 10% increase in time, money, energy focused on your #1 project… what would that do for you and your bottom line?

COURAGE & CREATIVITY

2 Skis, pointed inwards = the Snowplow

The natural pull of gravity pulls me down the ski hill.  I KNOW that if I point both skis downhill that nature will take care of the rest.

Yet I fight it.  My beliefs, my fears, my crossed-up self-talk push against the natural force gravity.  I am so stuck in comfort that my skis are crossed to an inwards “V”… creating the ol’ snowplow.

In what areas do you feel like you are fighting the hardest?  How could just “letting go” make life easier?

How are you stuck in comfort these days, simply accepting the status quo instead of opening up to new concepts?  Remember…

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Make yourself ready.

Two skis, in alignment, pointing downhill

Ever had the sensation of FLYING, almost effortlessly, straight down the hill?  Doesn’t mean that challenges dont come up.  If you want to slalom around something, you simply point both skis to one side or the other… no problem at all.  You keep your momentum rolling and get back on track.

This is the experience of a person who is CONGRUENT.

Everything is in alignment: your heart’s desires, your focus, and your action.  You are in “The Flow” of life.

You are looking ahead, not trying to drive with the rear-view mirror.  You aren’t PRETENDING to be or do anything that is outside of YOU.  You are true to yourself.

You aren’t trying to fix or change anything out of your control.  You are at peace and things seem almost effortless, even though you are being, doing, and accomplishing more than ever.

And what a feeling it is.

TF